So I haven't written in so very long...but after yesterday I need the outlet today...
As I sit in my living room surrounded by a lot of memories, some great and some very scary thanks to a 3 headed beast called PTSD that I have yet to conquer, I have 2 very special friends that are dealing with that beast right now...
PTSD is a very hateful thing that haunts, tortures and sometimes destroys lives and the people being tortured by her...
You can't look at a person and see the wounds and most times you can't even be around a person and tell they suffer from PTSD...if we could see the wounds that this injury inflicts I'm pretty sure the wounds would be horrible. PTSD turns a lover into someone you hate, a husband into a battle foe, a father into an indifferent person..."she" doesn't care who "she" injuries or the devestation that is left in her path. PTSD can and will make a person wave around a loaded weapon with no disregard to human life or the possible repercussion of those actions...PTSD can make a man ignore his wife and child and slowly slip away into a life that doesn't include his family...PTSD can and will take over not only the person's life but the life of the family..she is jealous and hateful...she is a miserable person that wants to destroy, to hurt, and wound as deeply as she can.
PTSD has become my husband's mistress...she is the bitch that has a piece of my husband that I will never get back. I think it would be easier if I was fighting for my husband with a real live person of flesh and blood but that's not the case..there is no skank I can beat down and go on with life...she has a hold on my husband that I will never be able to break...though each day her hold is weakening but she will always have that piece of my husband and I really hate her for that...but I love my husband so deeply and truly that I will fight for him and our marriage and life everyday and that bitch is in for a battle because my husband will not be lost to her...
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