kind of blah today...and a bit like life is passing by me and yes forgotten. Since John's injuries continually got worse and I made the decision to quit work full time to take care of him it feels like life is speeding by me and everyone around me has moved on and I'm stuck in one point of life. I understand its easier to ignore me by most people because I am a reminder of something no one wants to deal with...my husband is a reminder to people of a stigma that most soldiers and families don't want to deal with or acknowledge. And I get that...if it wasn't my life and I wasn't living it I'm sure I'd be avoiding someone like me also...I can honestly say it hurts like hell...
I do know I'm not alone in the world especially when the its announces that a 100,000 + soldiers are coming home from deployments with PTSD and thousands others are injured. I still feel alone...its like standing in a crowded room and you're screaming for someone to look at you...to see that you're in pain and you're hurting and they keep on walking by...afraid to look you in the eye because that makes them notice someone else...to be drawn into someone else's pain...and we are so involved in our lives that its hard to do that. And I completely get that...but every once in awhile it would be nice to hear someone say "Hey, you're not alone"....
Makes me wonder though...am I alone?
Heck no you ain't alone. There's another person out there feeling exactly like you do right now. And maybe they will read this and find you, or they will let someone find them because you wrote what they couldn't.
ReplyDeleteKeep pushing friend.