Monday, December 26, 2011

Twas the Night before Christmas

A friend shared I figured I'd post it. Hope everyone had an amazing Christmas!

T'was the night before christmas, and all through the FOB
Not a creature was stirring, not even a working dog.
All but the night's guards were asleep in their CHUs
Dreaming of ETSing and no more ACUs.

When suddenly above the peaks, a roving guard did see
a bright red light that filled his heart with glee.
for he knew the red beacon belonged to a nose
of Rudolph who led Santa to visit the Joes.

The guard called the TOC, to pass on his sighting
Of Santa's visit in the midst of all the fighting.
Grunts and POGs arose from their slumber
To give Jolly Saint Nick a greeting by the numbers.

But suddenly another flash lit up the night.
A rocket from insurgents in search of a fight.
For the Taliban knew not the joy of the season
And sought to cause chaos without logic or reason

Their rocket flew true, and struck the red sleigh
A cowardly attack for which they'd soon pay.
Santa and his reindeer crashed on a high slope
The landing was hard, but the troops held out hope

The whole base was now on high alert.
Everyone hoped Santa hadn't been hurt.
QRF deployed, to retaliate with haste
And to the crash site, the SAR birds did race

presents lay strewn about the crash scene
but Santa and his reindeer were nowhere to be seen
Over hill and dale, the soldiers did look
Inside every cave, cranny, and nook

After an hour of searching, the troops thought with distress
Santa had been captured, the night was a Taliban success
But the troops didn't give up their perilous mission
They would not rest until they found Santa's position

For every troop saw Santa as one of their own
And they wouldn't rest until they brought the man home.
When finally word came as a red signal flare
And every troop knew Santa was in despair

From the Eleven Bravos, salty as dogs
To the Forty Two Alphas stuck at the FOB
To the Sixty Eight Whiskeys, aid bags in hand
To the Ninety Nine Zulus, hidden in the sand

And the Eighty Eight Mikes, Thirty Five Mikes and Foxes
And the Ninety Two Yankees with their stacks of boxes
The Thirty One Bravos, Thirteen Deltas too.
Soldiers of all MOSes knew just what to do.

They loaded up their MRAPs and M-ATVs
And spun up the Blackhawks, Chinooks and 64D's
The whole Brigade pushed up the hill
Powered by a sheer force of will

When finally they reached Santa's location
And laid down cover fire for his evacuation
They loaded the man on a CASEVAC chopper
and gave the Taliban an ass whoopin' good and proper

Before dawn it was clear the battle was won
The surviving enemy had decided to run
Santa survived the night with nary a scratch
The troops joked that he too earned a combat patch

He chuckled with joy as he boarded a new sleigh
Then somberly said "Soldiers, I must be on my way"
"Like all of you, I have to put mission first,
Even after this night that was surely my worst,

"But what I do can't hold a candle to yours,
For I've never been deployed on multiple tours,
And I'm only away from Mrs. Claus for one night,
And I don't wake up every day expecting a fight,

"And I know your job is hard, tiring and tough,
And the conditions you live in to be truly rough,
And so for Christmas, I bring a special gift,
That should ensure your vict'ry to be swift."

And with those words, he departed the base,
With many FOBs to go, he picked up the pace.
The soldiers gathered 'round the small present, bewildered.
And wondered what advantage Santa Claus had delivered.

The base commander unwrapped the package with care
And then for a moment, the General simply stood there
For the package contained an old parchment scroll
That the officer carefully began to unroll.

He read for a moment, mumbling aloud.
Then he turned to his forces, whom had formed a crowd.
"Merry Christmas, Soldiers," he said with scroll in hand,
"I'm holding the Naughty list for all of Afghanistan!"

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