Tomorrow I'll be putting the husband on yet another plane to head away from me..but this time it's not to a country across the ocean but to the state of Kansas to clear Ft Riley. He is finally retiring from the Army. It's hard to wrap the brain around that fact that in less then a few months he will be "offically" retired. Almost 11yrs of his life was spent in the Army. 3 deployments, several years spent the field training, schooling and other random military trainings. And it's done and over with...kind of.
The husband will be put on TDRL, or temporary disablity retirement leave, which gives the Army the chance to pull him back in if they feel his injuries have healed enough to go back on active duty to finish his contract and it also means they can cut his retirement pay also. Which is aggervating...since while his PTSD will eventually get better it will never go away, neither will the TBI or his back problems. But I guess I can't complain since we did come out better with the MEB process then a lot of soldiers.
Now we begin a new chapter in life..a chapter without the Army being the dominate force in our life. No more deployments, no field problems, no more ACU's hanging in the closet or tripping over a flack vest and kevlar sitting on the dining room table. It's kind of surreal to think of how much effect on life the Army has til you sit down and think about it. Now the extra Army gear will hang out in the corner of the garage..which includes way to many wool blankets, uniforms dating back to the BDU's, several etools, and way to much other Army "junk".
I can admit I will miss certain parts of the Army life but we are both looking towards this new chapter of life.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Week 5
So tell me what do you really think about? Honestly....
I've asked the husband that question way to many times and I'm sure spouses/family members and so's have asked their soldiers that same question. I have to admit the past week has been rough and we both agree we could of used this weeks lesson last week..since we both jumped to conclussions based on automatic thoughts..
This weeks lesson was about the thought process..which as times seems pretty scary. There are so many things that go through the human thought process and learning to recognize the way we precieve the world around us will help someone look at the things a bit differently. This lesson is also a great lesson for not only the Vet but everyone around them since we're all guilty of overthinking/over analyzing.
The lesson pinpointed on several different thought processes..to include my favorite one...
The Mindreader~ ugh I hate hate this one...I swear if I could just pull my brain out and let the husband see that he can't read my mind! Which then in turn leads to fortune telling..just because I said something 1 time doesn't mean that everytime I get upset I'm going to say the samething. I know we've all done something in our thought process that pushes us to look at a negative thought more then the postive thought. We need to step back and reflect on our thinking.
The cool thing about this weeks lesson is it shows you how to set up an Automatic Thought Record...it makes you sit down and record your thoughts..
it helps you identify the sitution and go from there to figure out a solution and how to work through the thoughts you were having them and why. And helps you be more PROACTIVE!
The most important lesson to take from this week's program is * Stop and refect what you're thinking*..if you can stop and and think about why you're feeling a certain way and think about ways to learn from that thought process you're on the right road. It doesn't come easy and it will take a while to get in to that automatic process but with a bit of work it can be done.
Now to work on the husband with this...he and I are both pretty guilty of thinking something that isn't right..getting mad, upset or whatever and then acting on that. The husband is willing to try to write down his thoughts in his own Automatic Though Record so that way he can see in writing what he was thinking and how he reacted to it. I will scan and add his ATR later this week so I can show an example. The husband has admitted that there are some fine points to this program. He has enjoyed it to a point but sometimes it pushes him beyond his comfort level and therefore makes him feel and think things he's not ready to deal with it. Which with the help of his therapist we can point out to her. So this site is a helpful tool and the lessons each week pushes the husband to realize that he can get help and its not a sign of weakness.
http://www.vetsprevail.org/
I've asked the husband that question way to many times and I'm sure spouses/family members and so's have asked their soldiers that same question. I have to admit the past week has been rough and we both agree we could of used this weeks lesson last week..since we both jumped to conclussions based on automatic thoughts..
This weeks lesson was about the thought process..which as times seems pretty scary. There are so many things that go through the human thought process and learning to recognize the way we precieve the world around us will help someone look at the things a bit differently. This lesson is also a great lesson for not only the Vet but everyone around them since we're all guilty of overthinking/over analyzing.
The lesson pinpointed on several different thought processes..to include my favorite one...
The Mindreader~ ugh I hate hate this one...I swear if I could just pull my brain out and let the husband see that he can't read my mind! Which then in turn leads to fortune telling..just because I said something 1 time doesn't mean that everytime I get upset I'm going to say the samething. I know we've all done something in our thought process that pushes us to look at a negative thought more then the postive thought. We need to step back and reflect on our thinking.
The cool thing about this weeks lesson is it shows you how to set up an Automatic Thought Record...it makes you sit down and record your thoughts..
it helps you identify the sitution and go from there to figure out a solution and how to work through the thoughts you were having them and why. And helps you be more PROACTIVE!
The most important lesson to take from this week's program is * Stop and refect what you're thinking*..if you can stop and and think about why you're feeling a certain way and think about ways to learn from that thought process you're on the right road. It doesn't come easy and it will take a while to get in to that automatic process but with a bit of work it can be done.
Now to work on the husband with this...he and I are both pretty guilty of thinking something that isn't right..getting mad, upset or whatever and then acting on that. The husband is willing to try to write down his thoughts in his own Automatic Though Record so that way he can see in writing what he was thinking and how he reacted to it. I will scan and add his ATR later this week so I can show an example. The husband has admitted that there are some fine points to this program. He has enjoyed it to a point but sometimes it pushes him beyond his comfort level and therefore makes him feel and think things he's not ready to deal with it. Which with the help of his therapist we can point out to her. So this site is a helpful tool and the lessons each week pushes the husband to realize that he can get help and its not a sign of weakness.
http://www.vetsprevail.org/
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Week 4
Lets talk about feelings,emotions and moods...yes feelings, emotions and moods! Which for most guys isn't something they're comfortable with but throw in PTSD and you've got the blank, deer caught in the headlights look, well at least I do.
This week's lesson dealt with understanding feelings, moods and emotions. And separating the 3 and how to learn how each of the 3 effect you daily. This lesson encourages the Vet to write down daily how they're feeling and tracking their feelings.
It also has the Vet sit quietly and just take in a few mins to become aware of their surroundings and to recognized the feelings that they are feeling all the times. From happiness to sadness..which of course according to the husband made him feel like a dork..simply because it forced him to sit down and focus on the feelings he pushes aside.
The biggest push with this lesson is the accept your feelings, to understand that its ok to have the feelings you have and to respond to your feelings, emotions and mood in a healthy way. And that you can't get rid of the feelings but you can learn to handle them and own your emotions.
This lesson gave some great techniques for handling stressful feelings, from just sitting quietly and focusing on everything around you and becoming aware of your emotions, the controlled breathing technique, a simple mediation that once again the husband said made him feel like a dork but he was willing to try it.
All in all this lesson was I think one the best he's done..it made him focus more on the emotions and feelings he has daily and to understand that they are his feelings and its normal to feel this way but to use the techniques to help when he's having a rough patch.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help..there is nothing wrong to accept that sometimes you can't handle everything by yourself and asking for help doesn't make you weak. It actually makes you a stronger better person.
http://www.vetsprevail.org/
This week's lesson dealt with understanding feelings, moods and emotions. And separating the 3 and how to learn how each of the 3 effect you daily. This lesson encourages the Vet to write down daily how they're feeling and tracking their feelings.
It also has the Vet sit quietly and just take in a few mins to become aware of their surroundings and to recognized the feelings that they are feeling all the times. From happiness to sadness..which of course according to the husband made him feel like a dork..simply because it forced him to sit down and focus on the feelings he pushes aside.
The biggest push with this lesson is the accept your feelings, to understand that its ok to have the feelings you have and to respond to your feelings, emotions and mood in a healthy way. And that you can't get rid of the feelings but you can learn to handle them and own your emotions.
This lesson gave some great techniques for handling stressful feelings, from just sitting quietly and focusing on everything around you and becoming aware of your emotions, the controlled breathing technique, a simple mediation that once again the husband said made him feel like a dork but he was willing to try it.
All in all this lesson was I think one the best he's done..it made him focus more on the emotions and feelings he has daily and to understand that they are his feelings and its normal to feel this way but to use the techniques to help when he's having a rough patch.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help..there is nothing wrong to accept that sometimes you can't handle everything by yourself and asking for help doesn't make you weak. It actually makes you a stronger better person.
http://www.vetsprevail.org/
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Week 3
OK so I'm kind of dragging behind a bit...we can blame that on the holidays and dealing with the MEB (awww the joys) but we're back on schedule..kind of :-)
So the husband worked on week 3 last night...it was a rough night for him to focus due to him getting his ratings back and it showed on his assessment. He got a 2 out of 5 and that kind of made him a bit upset but through the program there is always a positive support even before you start talking to your peer support. Which is he needs to do today.
Week 3's lesson focused on how he spends his time and how to work through the bad parts and focus on the positive. Which is something I know he needs to learn more about. A lot of soldiers/Vets who suffer from PTSD its hard to pull themselves out of that dark well of negativity and realize that there is something out there that is good.
This also allowed some great open conversation with us..it made him realize that he does focus on the bad more then the good facts of life and what he has.
I do notice a change in him each week..between working with the program and his therapist the 2 have helped him take a step back and re-evaluate rash decisions and to take into consideration the tools that are available to him.
Week 4 is scheduled for the 23rd of Jan...and no more delays. Promise..well OK won't promise but we'll try our best
https://www.vetsprevail.org/
So the husband worked on week 3 last night...it was a rough night for him to focus due to him getting his ratings back and it showed on his assessment. He got a 2 out of 5 and that kind of made him a bit upset but through the program there is always a positive support even before you start talking to your peer support. Which is he needs to do today.
Week 3's lesson focused on how he spends his time and how to work through the bad parts and focus on the positive. Which is something I know he needs to learn more about. A lot of soldiers/Vets who suffer from PTSD its hard to pull themselves out of that dark well of negativity and realize that there is something out there that is good.
This also allowed some great open conversation with us..it made him realize that he does focus on the bad more then the good facts of life and what he has.
I do notice a change in him each week..between working with the program and his therapist the 2 have helped him take a step back and re-evaluate rash decisions and to take into consideration the tools that are available to him.
Week 4 is scheduled for the 23rd of Jan...and no more delays. Promise..well OK won't promise but we'll try our best
https://www.vetsprevail.org/
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Alone...
Some days it doesn't seem like I'm alone because I'm running around taking care of everyone and everything but when I have a moment to sit down and look at my life...I am totally alone.
Living a life ruled by PTSD is a very lonely life...not because of anything that people do but because 99% of the population doesn't understand PTSD...living a life that has PTSD in it is very hard. Its not something done on purpose on our part or anyone else but we isolate ourselves due to the fear of ridicule/misunderstanding or a PTSD meltdown so we draw into ourselves to protect not only us but the world around us.
Walking through a store, mall or where ever we are surrounded by people that greet each other, chat with their friends in the middle of isles and we're just trying to side step their conversations to get the husband home before something happens because of the anxiety level heightens each minute he is stationary.
These are the days when I hate PTSD the most...I would love to be able to go out and socialize with other people, to take my husband out and not have to worry about the what ifs...these are the days when I want to curl up in a ball and cry for a week because I am totally alone in this life.
Living a life ruled by PTSD is a very lonely life...not because of anything that people do but because 99% of the population doesn't understand PTSD...living a life that has PTSD in it is very hard. Its not something done on purpose on our part or anyone else but we isolate ourselves due to the fear of ridicule/misunderstanding or a PTSD meltdown so we draw into ourselves to protect not only us but the world around us.
Walking through a store, mall or where ever we are surrounded by people that greet each other, chat with their friends in the middle of isles and we're just trying to side step their conversations to get the husband home before something happens because of the anxiety level heightens each minute he is stationary.
These are the days when I hate PTSD the most...I would love to be able to go out and socialize with other people, to take my husband out and not have to worry about the what ifs...these are the days when I want to curl up in a ball and cry for a week because I am totally alone in this life.
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