now i know the husbands mood changes and stuff arent his fault..but god damn i'm tired of dealing with it at times...i'm tired of trying to keep everyone and everything going in this house by myself! i've seen him maybe 5hrs this week because all he does is sleep...and when he's up all he does is bitch about everything and everyone...i'm tired of it all...its bullshit...sometimes i hate living my life on eggshells because we still have no freakin clue whats gonna turn him into a total asshole towards everyone...
all he does is bitch and complain about how his life sucks..how people piss him off...yadda yadda yadda...its slowly making everyone in our house avoid him..no one wants to be around his ass anymore...
sorry about the vent..i just need an outlet...before i pull my freakin hair out and go running for the nearest airport to hide out somewhere...
Friday, June 25, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
when it rains it pours...
Ok...dumb question of the day...
"Did you ever think you'd be married to someone that has PTSD and is mentally unstable?"
Really I got asked that question...which in turn made me think for a split second before I opened my mouth with the smart ass response...
So my brain ran through alot of things...ccbut the 3 I remember are...
1. Who the hell says when they're growing up...when I grow up I wanna marry some guy that will be deemed mentally unstable...Yea buddy...
2. How on earth can people say stupid things like that...if they really lived my life I dont think they'd ever ask that question...
and
3. Can I just bitch slap you?
So upon those 3 random thoughts rushing through my brain I responded about how "its always been a dream of mine to marry some crazy soldier who can't handle crowds..can't handle being around people...that I have to monitor like I would one of my own kids...and I just LOVE how people that are living this life have the nerve to ask randomly dumb questions"
Now mind you this was just a random question while I was waiting the results of my great dane's xrays and labs since she's very sick...and the husband had been on the phone with his case manager and some nosey woman over heard some of his convo before he left to get our son to work...ok so I completely understand convo's are gonne be overheard but good lord...good thing she said it AFTER the husband had left...some people...
On a more sad note..keep my beloved dane in your thoughts...she might have bone cancer..we'll find out on weds the vet at Kstate is doing a biopsy and some other stuff..there goes the savings...good thing we love her gimpy butt...hmmmmmm I have a "disabled" husband why not a "disabled" dog...I need a drink now...
"Did you ever think you'd be married to someone that has PTSD and is mentally unstable?"
Really I got asked that question...which in turn made me think for a split second before I opened my mouth with the smart ass response...
So my brain ran through alot of things...ccbut the 3 I remember are...
1. Who the hell says when they're growing up...when I grow up I wanna marry some guy that will be deemed mentally unstable...Yea buddy...
2. How on earth can people say stupid things like that...if they really lived my life I dont think they'd ever ask that question...
and
3. Can I just bitch slap you?
So upon those 3 random thoughts rushing through my brain I responded about how "its always been a dream of mine to marry some crazy soldier who can't handle crowds..can't handle being around people...that I have to monitor like I would one of my own kids...and I just LOVE how people that are living this life have the nerve to ask randomly dumb questions"
Now mind you this was just a random question while I was waiting the results of my great dane's xrays and labs since she's very sick...and the husband had been on the phone with his case manager and some nosey woman over heard some of his convo before he left to get our son to work...ok so I completely understand convo's are gonne be overheard but good lord...good thing she said it AFTER the husband had left...some people...
On a more sad note..keep my beloved dane in your thoughts...she might have bone cancer..we'll find out on weds the vet at Kstate is doing a biopsy and some other stuff..there goes the savings...good thing we love her gimpy butt...hmmmmmm I have a "disabled" husband why not a "disabled" dog...I need a drink now...
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
so its summer...
and i'm off for a few months which means i get to go with the husband to his appts...and we're still getting the runaround when it comes to appts and all that stuff...we still have no one telling us when/and if he can medically retire yet..people that are in charge have no clue..and its frustrating as snot...we cant move forward with our plans without knowing if he's gonna get to retire...and i have a feeling we're gonna have to fight to get his retirement since the army isnt gonna want to pay him retirement for ptsd...grrrrrr....so far the past couple weeks have been decent...we met with his case manager last week(eye rolling) she just rubs me wrong..she just looks at my husband like he's a number and not a person and just another thing to push out of her office and move on to the next soldier...his occupational therapist was a..hmmmm...dingbat to put it nicely...very immature...was not impressed with her...i realize this is all new to the army but really it would be nice to find people that are qualified to do their jobs and to act their age when they are at work...either that or i'm just pretty harsh simply because this is my husband..this is our life that is in limbo because of everything that he's gone through in 3 deployments...i dont know...
i'm just very aggervated at the army...i just dont understand how the higher up's choose to ignore all this til we had soldiers killing themselves...and innocent people...then they decided they need to do something and still soldiers are told they're "faking" or "trying to get out of a deployment"...we've heard alot worse from the husband's old chain of command...basically my husband was alienated by people he thought were his friends...guys that he went to bat for to get promoted...to help them out now have nothing to do with him...he's gotten no support from those people...i guess its sad to say but 90% of the people in the army are out for themselves...and screw anyone that helped them out...sorry for my vent its just so aggervating to look at my husband knowing that he's been screwed over and he just doesnt care anymore....
i'm just very aggervated at the army...i just dont understand how the higher up's choose to ignore all this til we had soldiers killing themselves...and innocent people...then they decided they need to do something and still soldiers are told they're "faking" or "trying to get out of a deployment"...we've heard alot worse from the husband's old chain of command...basically my husband was alienated by people he thought were his friends...guys that he went to bat for to get promoted...to help them out now have nothing to do with him...he's gotten no support from those people...i guess its sad to say but 90% of the people in the army are out for themselves...and screw anyone that helped them out...sorry for my vent its just so aggervating to look at my husband knowing that he's been screwed over and he just doesnt care anymore....
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